I make enough mistakes
And it feels like she’s the only one that hears the things I say
So if for any reason there’s some miscommunication or I’m lying to her face
My immaturity and habits gettin’ in the way
Last night, we had such a great date. You picked me up, brought me flowers. We watched a movie, had dinner, walked to the park, and you brought me back home. Everything felt like a dream. I fell asleep to your sweet words and affection. This morning I woke up to find out something happened last Friday night.
You drank at Exile on a night you were driving home. We talked about this already. I was disappointed, you apologized and said it would never happen again. You are so difficult to be cared for. I hate that I care about you because in the end, I am taken for granted. I was sent a photo of you sharing a chair with some other girl, and her arm wrapped around your neck.
My heart beat so fast. I wasn’t sure if I was angry or just plain hurt. I didn’t want to assume anything at first, because you were still asleep. I couldn’t help but call you and just figure out whatever happened.
I don’t know how long I can take your mistakes and just brush them away. I feel like you don’t deserve me, my love, and my care. I always do good by you. I never lie, I never give you a reason to worry. I have trusted you ever since, and that night you just chose to test it. I understand you didn’t do anything back, but that’s what you claim to do. Do I choose to take someone else’s word over yours? I don’t know if I can trust you anymore. This was the first time you drank out in a place where my friends were at too. It only makes me wonder if anything worse happens when you are elsewhere.
How do you not realize someone is sharing the same seat as you? How do you not realize something is already happening between the two of you? I am hurt beyond words and I know this will really take time to heal. I miss you but I want to take care of myself first for once. I know what I deserve and this is not it. You hurt me and I have nothing less to say. You do not deserve me.
How dare you tell me you love me when you lied behind my back? How do you love me but forget to tell me important things like this? If you love me, you will never give me a reason to feel uneasy and worried. Had my friends not told me about it, I’d never have known. I am just thankful nalang that these people still care enough and respect me enough to tell me. I have never been this disrespected or lied to. I don’t know how I will bring myself to forgive you, or if I even have it in me to do so.