Feels like I’m in 8th grade

Today – The Smashing Pumpkins (#nowplaying)

Okay omg so my dad finally allowed me to go out with a guy today. Just us two! He even allowed him to drive me home. Only God knows how surprised and happy I was when this happened.

So it all started when I had my immunizations in the morning with dad, after which, I had Shakeys (Magallanes) with him, Tito Freddy and Tito Neil. Dad dropped me off at SM when you were on the way to Greenbelt from UP.

I was so nervous. I was thinking of what to do while we were together, how to make up for the awkward silences, how to kiss you and how it would feel like when we’d first see each other.

You texted me saying you arrived already. I was incredibly nervous. Do I hug him when I see him? What do I say? If we eat, what do we talk about? It’s so different when you hang out with someone in person.

I then insisted that we eat out since I was sure you were hungry from your trip to UP. So we walked around GB5, GB3 and you couldn’t find any place you wanted to eat in. I was kind of full already but then you insisted I ate with you. You then brought me to this restaurant on the side of GB I don’t really go to. It was a restaurant called Sugi where you had your birthday celebration at.

It seemed pretty pricey, I mean, considering the location, yeah. It was next to restaurants where old people have their 5th date or something HAHAHA even Pau said “Omg he brought you to a 3rd date restaurant”. I was so surprised when you pulled out the chair for me. I didn’t think you’d have manners like that (well tbh I didn’t think guys still did that eh, unless its like Prom or smth). I felt really kilig hahaha I was like aww he’s so cute. So okay, we started ordering and then you told me I could get whatever I wanted and that you’d pay for this entire thing. I really felt bad for making you pay, which was why I hesitated for a bit. It felt so good to know someone doesn’t mind spending on you. You didn’t want me to pay for anything.

While we were talking, I was just watching you. We were both so nervous. I saw your hands trembling a bit as you used the chopsticks… and then it was my turn, I unconsciously was doing the same thing!? I felt like an 8th grader putting  my a-game on for my crush. It was so stupid. I felt butterflies. I was so excited to just be there with you. It felt so good, you know? There was a rush of emotions.

So I toured you around Landmark, Glo and SM (since you haven’t been to these places yet). SM was my favorite part because we went through all the stores and we played this “Would you wear this” game. It was really fun and we started standing real close to one another. I remember my heart would skip a beat every time you tried hugging me (I say ‘tried’ because you were so shy and stopped real quick right after the attempt). It was so cute too how you carried my things for me. You hugged me from behind. Like I could see how much you wanted my physical touch, and I felt the same way.

You walked on the side of the road where the cars came from. You even switched sides when the cars did as well. I noticed that about you. You opened the car door for me, even though we both knew it was quite cheesy. You were such a gentleman. I honestly didn’t think you’d be this way. It’s a good surprise, I could say.

I had so much fun just walking around with you. Talking, laughing, smiling til my cheeks hurt. When we got to your car, it was silent. I gave you all your things and you pointed out mine (it was at the back). It was silent for quite some time. Silent and dark. You looked at me with a smile. What now? I thought. Do I kiss him?

You grabbed my face then kissed me on the cheek. You said that was for today. I kissed you back then you tried to move your face so I’d land the kiss on your lips. I said, “Hey, not yet”. I was still contemplating. I mean, it’s not wrong to kiss someone. I really wanted to kiss you.

I continued to tease you by kissing your cheeks and then leading it closer and closer towards your mouth. “Am I a tease?” “Yeah you are”. I asked if you wanted to kiss me and you told me you did, really bad. I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kiss you. “Is it bad?” You asked. Well, no, it isn’t bad. So you held the back of my head, pulled it towards you, tilted your head at just the right angle, and went in for it. The first kiss, you tried to make out with me. I said not yet. Until I kissed you more passionately. Your lips were so soft and it was too good for me to just stop. I wanted more of you, and not even in the lustful way. The way I kissed you was so innocent and pure, almost as if I already had feelings for you.

We made out and it was honestly too good. Our hands were all over each other and it just felt good. I was so comfortable getting lost with you, in you. I just wanted to taste you so bad already. I didn’t mind making out right then and there (and we did).

I felt my heart racing. I was so nervous at that moment. I just wanted to do everything right, to be honest. Face you at the right angle, open my lips at the right moment, taste you and feel you, you know?

You started driving already. We got lost a little because Waze wasn’t cooperating. But then after driving around a bit, we found our way. You reached out for my hand while you were steering your car. It felt so comfortable, like my hand was just felt right being there. I looked at you and could see this exact scenario in the future. I looked at you and felt the rush of emotions I haven’t felt ever since. I have never been this nervous towards someone. I felt so pressured to be at my best and show you how great I was and could be if ever we got together. I looked at you and knew I wanted more of this in the future.

You drove towards EDSA and then it started to rain. Norah Jones’ Come Away With Me started playing on the radio. I’d like to think that song could be our song. God, you look so good. Be mine? It was just perfect. Surreal, even. You looked at me and smiled at me. I didn’t bother to ask “What?” anymore because I knew that I felt the exact same way you did because there were times I’d just look at you and smile.

I felt like everything was too good to be true. This is all I could ever want. It’s like God summed up everything to fall into place. You dropped me off home. It was a quick ride. Maybe a good 20 minutes or so. We kissed at the stoplights. I squished your cheeks. You’re too cute for my life. I’m so deeply attracted to you.

When you dropped me off, my lolo was at the gate so I introduced you to him. I didn’t let you enter the house. I just made you wait at the gate with me. Introduced you to Yaya Agot and Yaya Beth, and they both just smiled. I was calling my brother but he didn’t want to come out so I just made you go ahead. You weren’t allowed to stay out so late anyway.

I have so much fun with you. You make me have butterflies. You make me stutter and lose my train of thought. I think this could be something.



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