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  1. SC
    I feel so under appreciated and acknowledged. I know it isn’t nice to always want to chase the credit, but then again, since when did I ever ask for credit but now? This is something I’ve been so proud of myself for. A little appreciation or acknowledgement would be nice to have.

    I feel so bad because I always try my best to make the SC look good through my projects and ideas yet I don’t get appreciated enough, well, I don’t even get appreciated at all.

  2. Dad
    You know talking to Nic is something I always look forward to. To the point that I finish all my school work early, shower and pack ahead, and so much more. That’s really the only thing I want to do before I end the day. I do know that I’m your only girl, and that you miss me, but sometimes I also hope you would give me some time that I can talk to him and enjoy the company of myself.
  3. Joni
    Thanks for telling us a lot earlier.

The Difference

How can you want someone whom you know you have no chance with? How can you be beside them and feel nothing but joy and sadness? Joy in knowing you are in the presence of someone so amazing, someone so fascinating, someone who makes you question, “Why are you taken for granted?” And sadness because you know you will never get a chance to tell them their worth.

You laugh at my jokes, look me in the eyes, and then suddenly, I feel a surge run through my veins. We talk for a while, you smile, and then my heart stops and I can’t think straight. I see you at the bottom of the hall and I can’t help but feel my stomach drop and my hands tremble.

How is it possible that a 1 second smile from you could create a smile on my face that would last a day? How is it possible that your little words would mean so much to me? How is it that being a meter away from you makes me feel so happy I don’t even know where to start?

A day with you might seem like a regular day for all the people in this universe but for me it is something I cannot picture in my head. It must be too good to be true. I see you for a second but that second feels like a day. Time stops and you distract me from everything else around me.

I look at you and think, I would be the happiest person in the planet, if only I had you.

You hug me and I wrap around my arms the most magnificent person I have ever met. It’s like I never wanted to let go. My head on your shoulder, yours on mine. I could feel your warmth and it was such a comfortable feeling. I liked it and I knew I wanted it to be that way always. And right on that spot, you pulled away. And that’s when I knew. I can’t have you. Not now, not ever.”

It’s been a year now, and I can perfectly state the difference of my thoughts now to my thoughts then. To make it perfectly clear, you were mine at one point, no matter how many times we try to deny it, to us, it was the truth. There was never a contract that would assure us of so, but our hearts made a deal, didn’t they?

So to answer the questions stated above;

How can you want someone whom you know you have no chance with?
You look at them straight in the eye, work hard, and be truthful to your feelings. Don’t deny. 

How can you be beside them and feel nothing but joy and sadness?
It’s possible, but you have to get over it. So what if you feel sadness? Let the joy overweigh it.

How is it possible that a 1 second smile from you could create a smile on my face that would last a day?
Because I loved you.

How is it possible that your little words would mean so much to me?
Again, because I loved you.

How is it that being a meter away from you makes me feel so happy I don’t even know where to start?

Lastly, because I loved you.

Maybe This Time Around

It’s 11 pm, and maybe this time around, I need not wait for your text asking me what I’m up to. It’s a Saturday tomorrow, and maybe this time around, I’m not going to ask you what your plans are. I see the Thursday label on my planner, and maybe this time around, I won’t be wearing a smile on my face. I pass by your office, and maybe this time around, I won’t look through the window. It’s the first bell, and maybe this time around, I won’t wait for you to walk by. They mention your name, and maybe this time around, they won’t think of mine. My friends buy Simple Line, and maybe this time around, I forgot the taste Tapioca. History comes up, and maybe this time around, you don’t cross my mind. I get a circular, and maybe this time around, there is a missing signature. I draw a Snoopy, and maybe this time around, there is no one to give it to. It’s raining hard, and maybe this time around, you tell someone else to take care. There are late night realizations, and maybe this time around, there is no you I can share them with. It’s a sunny afternoon in October where the volleyballs are bouncing around, and maybe this time around, I need not wait for that cap and whistle and voice and hair. I have a computer class, and maybe this time around, I don’t need to buy anyone lunch.

I fall in love, and maybe this time around, it’s not with you.