i hate my situation

i hate having to spare fridays with friends because i have to go home to my dads because weekends are for mom. i hate that i have to live in another house 5 days a week. i hate that i have to juggle three houses. i bet it isnt normal for other people to keep packing their bags each day and planning what outfits to use during the week. i hate not being able to have time for myself at home because i have to spend time with parents because im leaving again.

i hate that i cant have saturday nights out because ill feel bad for not spending time with mom. i have friends who go out every saturday night or every friday night and its perfectly fine. i feel thats been taken away from me and it isnt even my fault. i hate that i was born into this dynamic. i hate that i dont even have a social life and now everything just revolves around family.

i guess this is why having a car is such a big deal to me. i get to have my own freedom and my own time and feel like i have some sort of control in my life and be able to decide where to go versus the usual where people tellĀ me where to go.