I don’t want to apologize for the things I cannot give

I don’t want to be apologetic for the things I am not, for the things I don’t have, for the things I cannot give. I don’t want to be apologetic for these things simply because you knew what I was and what I am able to give long before you entered this thing. You knew the terms and agreements and signed the contract once you sealed the deal by telling me, “I like you”.

Why is it that when I cannot give you the time you ask for, I apologize? When in reality, this time you ask for, is being spent on my family, academics, and most importantly, time for myself. I do want to spend time with you, but I want to spend more time on myself. Fixing me, reflecting on me, listening to me. There are a lot of things going on and so many aspects to pay attention to that it’s really difficult to maintain a romantic relationship (because you have to keep seeing each other at a constant rate).

Time is always the problem in relationships. Time to see each other, time to call, time to talk… etc. Honestly, it’s so difficult. This is why I enjoy being single in the first place. No person to attend to. (Not that I feel obliged towards you. Trust me, I really do want to see you.) But I want to see myself too. I have other priorities too. I have so little time, but so many responsibilities.